We ended up with a half a bowl of soggy Cheerios and milk on our floor. And I'm annoyed. I am so annoyed. I'm annoyed that we have carpet in our dining room because, who puts carpet under a table that gets eaten at? Even though I know people put carpet in formal dining rooms all the time, it's just that ours isn't formal, it's the only eating area in the entire house, unless you count on the couch in front of the TV. So, why!? Why? Why did anyone think carpet under the table is a good idea? And why didn't my husband and I change that when we first moved in?
So I'm annoyed we have carpet under the table. I'm annoyed that my four-year-old decided to eat her bowl of cereal under the table causing her younger sister to follow suit, thus spilling said bowl. I'm annoyed that they wanted cereal for a snack in the first place. But mostly I'm annoyed with myself. My annoyance and disgust were not masked when shouting at them to get out from under the table and then huffing and puffing while scooping and blotting the mess. (And will there now be a stink of milk under our table?)
I'm annoyed with myself for not remaining more calm. For not reassuring my two-year-old that it's okay. It's not a big deal. Because it is okay, and it's not a big deal.
And I wonder why I can't. Why can't I relax? Why can't I stay calm? Why is that as I am trying harder and harder to look inside myself and find my inner peace and happiness, I seem to so much more easily lose my cool? Or am I really losing it more or is it just than I'm noticing it more?
And now they're in the tub because, well, they need a bath today, and also because when I'm spiraling down into a cycle of annoyance and yelling I find that changing what we're doing usually helps. Except when it doesn't. So, I am just praying that it is working. And the rest of the night will be good. Because, yes, it is so good.
xoxo.
Christine
I hope you don't think you're alone in this. We all have moments like these where the smallest things can cause us to snap. We're only human. Take a deep breath in of the girls after their bath and they smell so sweet, tuck them in with lots of hugs and kisses and then do something for yourself. xo
ReplyDeleteThank you. The evening (post-bath) was much much better.
DeleteExactly!
ReplyDeleteI was on the phone with a friend today and just starting screaming at my 4 year old because he had lost his hearing aid because he was mad at me. This hearing aid is EXPENSIVE! Like the price of a small used car and I had no idea if it had gotten stepped on or wrecked. Or anything.
I got off the phone with my friend and shut the door on my son because I was so angry I couldn't look at him.
And then, I felt horrible because in the long run, does it really matter? Not really, but kind of. But I should be more loving and pay more attention to him and be kinder. But HE shouldn't treat his important hearing aid like that!
Oh, yes! This is a PERFECT post!
Ugh, I'm sorry. Don't you just hate that feeling? (But in your defense I think losing a hearing aid is a bigger deal than spilled cereal.) It's nice to know I'm not alone, though. Thanks.
DeleteOh I'm so sorry. These young years are so, so hard. I find myself annoyed at dumb things--"Why are there crumbs on the counter AGAIN? Why can't anybody pick up after themselves?" I trip over everything and anything b/c it's all on the floor. And I get worked up over it. I tell myself to let it go, tomorrow's a new day. But it's so hard. I'll pray for patience for us both!
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to hear that I'm not alone. The crumbs on the counter (or in our case floor), tripping over things on the floor, sometimes it feels so hard. Which feels so wrong. Thanks for the support and I'll pray for our patience too!
DeleteOh I know that feeling. It happens all the time - I lose it over something that I know I shouldn't but I just can't help it. Often I find that I'm really losing it over a combination of things but that doesn't help either. Hang in there, these days get better (or so I've heard!).
ReplyDelete