A Toast, Of Sorts

I am not a big resolution-maker or word-of-the-year-declarer, but I am in the business of wanting to better myself and live a fulfilling life.

The other night my husband talked about focusing on balance this new year and living with Presence, something I think our whole family could do better with. It got me thinking though, if I was choosing a word to focus on for 2015, what would it be? My initial thought is Gratitude, because I desperately want to see the good things I already have in front of me instead of focusing on the things that I think are missing.

Obviously I have much to be grateful for, and I forget to see it more than I'm comfortable with. I have spent many years working with a therapist to trudge through my depression, and I finally feel like I'm at a point where I can move from working out my depression to just working on being the best (or at least a better) version of myself.

I'm not entirely sure who that looks like, but I want her to be filled with gratitude and appreciation for her life and to open that heart of hers and let love out. I want her to see love and feel love and, most importantly, give love as much as possible.

I don't generally think of myself as a pessimist. But, when viewing the glass I'm not sure that I see it half-full either. I tend to see the glass and just worry. Is there enough? Is it clean? Is it going to break? Is this even my glass to drink from? What's it filled with? Etc. Etc. Etc. I don't think I'm a negative person, per say, but I definitely err more on the side of hardships and difficulties and worries. I think part of that is due to depression, which is maybe why I'm feeling like I can move beyond that part of me. Not only can I be a person who's depression is managed (gasp!) but even go as far as to be a person who is joyful and even positive.

I am looking forward to this year. (I think.) I am looking forward to delving deeper into what makes me happy and what is important to me and who I am and who I want to become. I am looking forward to putting more emphasis on being with my family and spending time with friends. I am looking forward to seeing the good in things, even if I have to work so hard to retrain my brain that it hurts.

I am going to lasso a golden unicorn and ride it over the rainbow into this new year.

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xoxo, christine


PS. Did you know you can like And it is Love on Facebook? Also, the new year brought us new phones (read: smart phones) so I now am officially on Instagram too.