It's the last day of November, and I can hardly believe it. How did this happen? I mean, I know how it happened, Time and all that, I just can't believe that December will already be here tomorrow. How does that saying go? The days are long but the years are short?
It's true you know. How many of us are just waiting for Friday all week long and then Bam! a whole year has gone by. I look at my daughters and I still see Paige as a baby and Hope as a little toddler. And then I look at pictures of them when Paige was born, and I just can't believe that Hope will be five next month and Paige is already older than Hope was when Paige was born.
This is Hope's last year of preschool. Next year she goes off to Kindergarten and Paige starts her first year of preschool and I just might have two mornings a week without kids. And I just can't imagine it, sending Hope off on a school bus, her big backpack banging against her little back. And dropping Paige off in the very room that Hope is in now.
It's all so crazy and terrifying and amazing. I'm realizing that this parenting gig gets scarier and harder as the kids get older. (Probably why we start out with babies instead of teenagers.) I mean, really, once you get past the stage of taking the newborn home and figuring out how to meet her needs, it's really not as hard as it seems at the time. Of course, maybe that's always how it is. When the girls are preteens, I'll look back at this time and think, Gee, sending the girls off to school wasn't hard at all! But when you're in the middle of it all. My goodness. Some days are HARD. And SCARY. And OVERWHELMING.
What if I choose the wrong school for my daughter? What if the adjustment is too hard for her next year? What if she's doesn't make friends? What if she's lonely? What if she cries every single day all year long?
I know it'll be okay. Right? Right now I can't see out, but once it's past I'll see just how non-scary it really was. But the responsibility of finding a school for Hope feels like a huge weight on my shoulders, an aspect of parenting that I wasn't prepared for. And every time we hit one of these new stages of their lives I just pray I don't mess them up too bad. And poor Hope, as the oldest she kind of bears the brunt of our trials and errors. I'm just hopeful for a minimal amount of errors.
Tomorrow is December and I am determined to visit the potential schools sometime in the month before winter break starts. I think.
Happy last day of November everyone. And remember, if you haven't already, it's time to crank up that Holiday music! :)