The Windy City

I had a long weekend in Chicago with my husband. With everything we've been going through, it was some much needed uninterrupted "couple" time. The last time I was in Chicago was in high school, so it was fun to do some exploring, but I discovered a few things too.

First of all, I could totally picture us living in Chicago. Do you ever do that? Whenever I go somewhere new I try to imagine what it would be like for our family to live there. Some places I can see the possibilities and other places all I can see is "Oh, hell no." The only problem with Chicago is that if we ever actually lived there I'd have to take daily dramamine just to get around. That L Train is crazy for my inner ear. Holy motion-sickness, Batman!

Also, as much as I enjoyed myself, it was very hard to be away from the girls. I'm kind of assuming that it's because of everything we've been through with losing Calvin, but I just want to keep my girls close lately. I still have moments that I fear I am going crazy (as in, give me a break from mommying all day!), but at the same time I desperately want to keep them physically close to me right now. It's like I have to hold on to what's important, and they are most important.

Another thing: while traveling without kids has it's benefits (mostly that it's way easier), I found myself thinking about what they would enjoy about Chicago. And all the cute photo-opps we'd have.

Finally, I love love love to travel, and I love love love home just as much. Being in Chicago renewed in me a desire to go to new places while simultaneously reminding me of my appreciation for having a place to call home. A place that is comfortable and happy.

xoxo, christine

Also? Apparently I actually like deep dish pizza. Who knew?

It's Playing My Song

I have the post-vacation blues, big time. And I am bumming, HARD.

After a week in Sunny San Diego (even if the temperatures were mostly in the sixties instead of the seventies) it feels pretty depressing coming home to the gray and cold and snow of Minnesota. I left my heart in San Diego.

I know, I know. Not too long ago I rambled on about wanting to move to New York. Well, people, a girl's got the right to change her tune. And I am la-la-laing from the sophisticated aria of New York to the beachy rock of San Diego.

(Sorry, Sister, there's something about the sun's siren song thats pulling me to an opposite coast.)

My husband, although also suffering from some post-vacation fog, loves to talk about where we were and what we were doing at this time last week. And I love to remember vacation, but it isn't bringing me the same satisfaction it seems to be bringing him. My heart just sinks at the thought Shamu splashes, local burger dives, and lazy nights around the fire. Because that is no longer my life.

Oh, I could go on and on I'm sure, but I'll try to refrain. As my mother pointed out, at least I was in San Diego. On another day I will delightfully relive my vacation and try to feel the warmth of the sun through my words...

On the other hand, I could just keep trying to convince my husband that we should move to Southern California. Or at the very least plan another warm weather vacation. Soon.

xoxo,
Christine

Scenes From New York

On the off chance you missed it, we recently got back from a our first big family trip.  A first plane ride and visit to New York City for the girls, a visit to celebrate my sister's wedding.  For all my anxiety and stress leading up to our departure, everything went smoothly, from the morning drive to the airport, to the bumpy landing back in Minneapolis.

I don't know what to say about the trip, except that I didn't want to come home.  Being in New York is excitement in its own, but being there to celebrate a couple (one-half of which is part of my heart and soul), brings another level to my love for the city.

Because we live so far away, I have not seen first hand Elisabeth and Jürgen's relationship grow and develop, so to be a part of their wedding, and to hear from friends who have gotten a close-up view, felt like a completion in my love for their love.

Except that it also made me feel sad because I am not there to be experiencing it myself.

The weekend was filled with so much warmth and joy.  Mostly because of the couple getting married, but also because of the close family and friends who were there to witness Elisabeth and Jürgen's rooftop-shouting love.  Because isn't that kind of what a wedding is?  Making that commitment to each other and shouting your love for one another from the rooftops?

I am over-the-top thrilled for my sister and her new husband.  I am equally thrilled that our two little girls traveled so well, as traveling is a love both Adam and I share, although have done it significantly less after having kids.  But is still something we want to pass on to our children.

Anyway, without any more rambling about love or travel, before I start tearing up, here are some scenes from our visit.


The trip:

The wedding:

The City (and us):

Let me just say, the girls's favorite part of flying: the big pink bubble gum (Hope), the orange sucker (Paige), the iPad with movies (Mommy).  How in the world did my parents survive over-seas flights with my sister and I before the DVD player and/or iPad?

Definitely one of my favorite family trips.  When can we go back?


xoxo.
Christine

It Was a Trip, Not Quite a Vacation

They say that taking a vacation with children is not actually a vacation.  It is a trip.  Vacation implies rest, relaxation, and renewal, and traveling with kids is pretty much anything but those.  You know, because everything with kids takes more time, more stuff, and more energy.  (The diapers, the toys to distract, the changes in schedules, the general disruption of normal, daily, quasi-easy life.)

All of this I think is true.  Our trip to New York was exactly that, a trip.  However, even though it wasn't a lot of R and R, the girls did so well, that I do feel a little bit renewed coming back.  You know, when I'm not so bummed out to be back.

Being away from home was so good for us.  I loved not having laundry to fold or cleaning to do.  And my absolute favorite was how my husband didn't have his usual To Do list hanging over his head and interfering with spending quality time together.  We all had no home (and Adam had no work) responsibilities to keep us from just Being.

Being in the moment.

Being together.

******

There is an energy to New York that I have never felt anywhere else.  And although I was worried about how our girls would be received in a city stereotyped for it's indifferent residents, I was pleasantly surprised to find that even some New Yorkers can't help but smile at my two little kids dancing down the street.

The pace is crazy fast, but also invigorating, and although I imagine living there could get exhausting, the vibe of New York City makes coming home to suburbia feel very... blah.  Of course, this could also be some post-trip blues.

(My blues are made worse by the photos from the trip.  Although I took almost 700 photos I did not get many quality ones, which has left me feeling even more inadequate and self-conscious as the novice photographer I am.)

Photography woes aside, it was a perfect first family trip out to visit my sister.  Made more perfect by her wedding, and so many close family friends all gathered together.

******

Look forward to at least one more post about the trip, detailing some of my favorite moments.

xoxo.
Christine

We're Back

Well, my sister is married, the girls were in their first wedding, and we survived our first family plane trip.  After a week of changed meal times, less than normal amounts of sleep, and just a general lack of usual routine, I fully expected to come home to the girls crashing.  And by crashing I mean having major meltdowns.  And while they have yet to have one, I seem to be having a meltdown of my own.

I am tired and crabby.  Exaggerated by the dramamine I took before the flight this morning and unpacking the suitcases in a stuffy house.  But despite my end-of-the-trip, Oscar-the-Grouch attitude, it really was a wonderful week.  Full of laughter with friends and family, good food, dancing, and nurturing the love of travel and exploration in our children.

More from our trip to come.  For now, I'll just leave with this.

More of these to come later too.


xoxo.
Christine

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Even though I have been flying since before I was old enough to collect memories, I don't really like it.  I find myself always releasing a stiff breath as soon as the wheels hit the ground.  My body just barely relaxing as we taxi into the terminal.  My only requirement for flying is a good and long book because that is the way my mind can be distracted to avoid the anxieties swirling around.

I will still bring a book, but, this time, I imagine that there will be no time to escape into it.  There are two little girls who will be excited, anxious, and a whole bucket of emotions on their first airplane ride.  I am constantly thinking, thinking, thinking of the necessities for a successful trip with a two-year-old and four-year-old.

It is overwhelming, even though I know we can do it.  Even though I know we will do it.  Maybe it will be horrible.  But maybe it won't.

I've already promised my husband that we must say goodbye to the savvy journeyers we used to be.  My life-long goal (finally reached at my last solo visit out to my sister) of just using a large purse as my carry on, will now be a distant memory until we are retirees hopping from one continent to another.

No, we will most definitely be the annoying and s-l-o-w and harried family of four, juggling a stroller and car seat and carry-ons and two whining children, and avoiding the eye contact of all other passengers.  We will be those people.

And that's okay.  Because we are a family of four.  And it takes more to travel with small kids.  And we've never done it before.

It is nerve-wracking, and overwhelming... and exciting, and joyous.  The pounding of my heart, I can feel from my head to my toes.  The roller coaster riding my stomach is doing, will only get worse and worse until we are there.  But seeing my sister, taking the girls on an adventure, it is all so wonderful it makes me giggly.  Giddy.

Any pain from traveling the unknown, will be worth it.  That is something I feel from my head to my toes, too.

xoxo.
Christine

Warning: A Month of Chaos Ahead

It is July, and suddenly I am hyperventilating.  My sister is getting married this month and I am thrilled to be going to New York, to be taking the girls on their first visit out there (and first plane ride).

But this month has turned into crazy.  Swim lessons that are desperately needed for a four-year-old who doesn't like the deep end even when being held.  Which makes it two weeks straight of needing someone to watch the little one.  Appointments upon appointments, at least three more times a babysitter is required.

I can't quiet the noise in my head.  The laundry and cleaning that's needed day in and day out.  And everything else that must happen before we leave.  I'm afraid I'm not going to get it done.  But I can't pack my suitcase this week.  I have clothes I want to wear between now and then.

How do I step back?  Take a deep breath?

One thing at a time.  Relax.  It will get done.  Playdates will be enjoyed, appointments will be attended, water comfort will be learned, and packing will be completed.

Sometimes it's hard to remember to slow down.  I like to have things to do.  But I can't say I like to be busy.  Except that sometimes my "things to do" turn into "busy" and then I get overwhelmed and like I am today.

Breathe in...  Breathe out...  And take a nap.  Naps make everything better.  Kind of like cupcakes.

xoxo.
Christine


Linking up with Elaine.

Weddings, Airplanes, and Brown Paper Bags

My sister is getting married in less than two months.  I am so excited I have a hard time falling asleep at night.  Thoughts of flower girl dresses and wedding shoes slip between thoughts of what else we need to buy and pack.  (Yes, we have over a month and I am already thinking about packing.  That's how I roll.)

When I'm not occupied with images of clothes (the girls' and mine) and giddy with excitement to be in New York again, I have moments of panic.  You see, this three hour flight will be the first the girls will ride on a plane.  How in the world are we going to survive being confined in our seats on a loud and never-before-experienced airplane?  (And how in the world did my parents do it so frequently with my sister and me?)

While I am in the bed hyperventilating about the flight, Adam is next to me having nightmares about the wedding ceremony.  Because I am so honored to be my sister's matron of honor (even though I'm married I swear it sounds better to be the maid of honor), Adam will be stuck wrangling the two little flower girls who will most likely not be cooperating and sweetly walking down the aisle.  Also most likely not sitting quietly and ever-so-angelically through the matrimonial proceedings.

I'm sure that once we survive the flight (we will survive the flight, right?) my anxiety will transfer to the two-year-old's and four-year-old's behavior for the big wedding weekend.  (Because that's how I roll too.  What's next to worry about?  Got it.)  But I can't look that far ahead.  The flight anxiety is enough for now.

Mostly I'm happy to obsess about the details -- the clothes to buy, the toys (distractions) to bring, the fun to be had.  If you have any though, I sure wouldn't mind air travel tips with little ones.  Otherwise I'll just pack my brown paper bag.  You know, for breathing into as my children scream and cry and get us kicked off the plane.


xo,
Christine