Jun 21, 2013

Decisions, Decisions, and Fear

We decided to just wait and let things happen on their own. I can understand and fully respect making a different choice, you have to do what is right for you and your family, and this is what feels right for us.

He is a boy. In a healthy pregnancy we would not have found out the sex (we didn't with either of the girls), but we both decided that this pretty much changes everything. So when we got the results of our amniocentesis back it was one of my first questions.

My hollowness is sometimes filled up with fear. I desperately want to be able to hold this baby (whenever he comes) and I am terrified that I won't get to. So if you're the praying/wishing/hoping type, that would be much appreciated. I think it's one of the only things I'm holding onto right now, being able to touch him, even if he is already gone.

Thank you to those who have reached out to us with calls, messages, texts, thoughts, and/or prayers. It means the world to us to have so many people supporting us right now.

xoxo christine

You can read the start of this story, here.

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4 comments:

  1. My S-i-L was five months pregnant when they discovered that their (first) baby boy would be born with a severe cleft pallet, club foot and spina bifida in two places. They opted to induce early labor and all that. She said afterward that THE most important thing to her was holding the baby, even for a second...it helped their healing.

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    1. Yes, I really do think holding him is what feels most important to me right now.

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  2. Dearest, dearest Christine, you are brave beyond brave and beautiful in so many ways. thanks for sharing your heart and vulnerability with us. If not on earth, you will hold your baby boy in heaven, i am certain.

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