Sep 2, 2013

It is Reality

It is the start of September. The start of school. The start of pumpkin flavored coffee and bagels.

The start of our new reality.

Our past two weeks have been like a mini-break from real life. Now tomorrow it starts up again. I am dreading Adam going back to work. As I mentioned before, his work giving him this time off has been a huge blessing. The time we've had together as a family has been so needed, and I've just wanted to wrap the four of us together.

But while I've been soaking up my family, I've been neglecting other things (um, mostly other people). I'm afraid that I have not been good at answering or responding to messages and texts. And now that Adam's going back to work and I will find myself without him all day, I'm afraid that I've hurt people's feelings and isolated myself.

Reality is coming and it is booming like a drum.

There is so much going on right now, I don't even know what to do with myself. And I'm having a hard time falling asleep at night. As soon as my head hits the pillow my mind seems to speed up. All day long I am dragging and ready to nap on the couch, but come ten or eleven o'clock and my brain decides that there is too much to do and think about to allow my body to rest.

I hear it coming, getting louder and louder, right outside the door.

It is Reality after losing Calvin. And I am not ready.

xoxo christine

1 comment:

  1. I didn't sleep much for at least 3-4 months, and even then it was b/c of sleeping pills. Sorry to say, not sleeping well is part of the grieving process. I will pray for sleep and rest for you!!


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