Sep 19, 2013

Less Broken and Broken and Friday Photos

It was a bit of a rough week. We marked one month since delivering Calvin on Tuesday, and my emotions took me by surprise. (Although I'm not quite sure why, as anyone who knows me well will agree that I'm an emotional person.) The following day I got a tattoo of Calvin's footprints on my wrist. My first tattoo. It feels like a step in the right direction of Healing.

But of course Healing is a process. (And maybe one is never "healed" but just "less broken"?)

Tonight I had a meeting where we wrote down the members of our families. When I took a paper for each of my girls I thought, this breaks my heart. It felt really unfair that I didn't need another piece for Calvin. (In fact, I felt like I should even have four.)

I feel incredibly sad and empty tonight.

And now I have no way to transition into photos from our week. So I'm just going to dump them here and pretend that this post is really well put together, even thought it's so obviously not.

She had her first day of tennis last week... and loved it. 

I finally got around to setting up an area with some of our reminders of Calvin. The elephant we bought for him in San Diego, the hat he wore at the hospital, and his tiny footprints.

It's their favorite place to eat lunch.

A beautiful memorial to my son.

xoxo, christine


  1. That's a beautiful tribute to Calvin! I wish I had the guts to do that. Your girls are beautiful! I'm hit with the feeling of guilt when someone asks how many kids I have and I only say 4. It feels wrong but then if I say 5 and have to explain, that feels wrong, too.

    1. Oy. Yes, the challenge of "how many kids do you have". It's heartbreaking.


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