I know, of course, that part of the reason her delivery was so fast was simply because with subsequent pregnancies labor usually gets faster (and faster and faster). And with Paige being born less than two hours after being admitted to the hospital, friends and family were joking that I'd be lucky to make it to the hospital this time around.
I made it to the hospital.
But, I was not expecting to go so quickly that I hardly had time to register being in triage or moving to labor and delivery. And I certainly didn't expect for things to progress with no time for pain medication or the doctor barely making it in to "catch" our baby.
Physiologically, I understand exactly why Nora's birth worked out the way that it did. But I am starting to think that there was another very good reason she came so quickly.
One of my biggest fears about the labor with this pregnancy was knowing that we would be going back to the same hospital, the same triage, the same labor and delivery unit, where we met and said goodbye to Calvin. I knew that being there would be difficult, painful, emotional, and I was sure that the loss of Calvin would over-shadow the birth of this baby. And even though it made me sad and worried, I had pretty much accepted that this was just the way it would be.
Delivering Nora within forty-five minutes of arriving at the hospital left no room for me to think of anything other than making it through each contraction and getting this baby out. And even though there is some guilt about it, I can say that because of how everything played out, I did not think of Calvin or our experience delivering him until we were moving from Labor and Delivery to Recovery.
Nora's quick birth provided me with a wonderful (although extremely painful) distraction that left no room for the emotional pain of relieving my last moments of pregnancy with Calvin. She knew exactly what she was doing, and came exactly how she was supposed to, and I was well into falling in love with her and doting on her by the time I could register the sadness of being in the same place we said goodbye to our son.