Oct 24, 2014

A Blanket of Yucky

I don't know if there's something in the air, or it's the change of season, or the planets' alignment, but something is going on, because I have talked with and read about several other people who are feeling the same things I am right now.

Basically, there's a lot of "Meh," "Yuck," and "Blech" going around.

I am typically not one to dislike turning a year older, but I was starting to wonder if I was having some weird adverse reaction to my upcoming birthday. I suppose it's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who's feeling beaten down right now.

Somehow I am off, one step behind the dance that's happening around me. Or even two steps. I am struggling to find the beat and smile and keep up. Actually, it's less of a dance and more of an intense workout that I seem to be involved in. I signed up, yet I am unable to keep up. I am huffing and puffing and wishing it would be time for a water break. Instead of the endorphins kicking in, the sweat and high intensity is kicking my butt.

I wish that my analogy was real. Well, sort of. (I'm no fitness person, after all.) At least then I would be working out and getting the benefit of those good endorphins instead of just hiding in my house and curling up with my big blanket of yuckiness.

I wonder if it is lack of sleep. So I take a nap and feel more groggy than before. I wonder if I need to get outside or connect with a friend. So the girls and I meet friends at the park. And I feel better for those few hours, until I am home and exhausted all over again.

Something feels off, and in my current state, and my worst-case-senerio-itis, I am starting to have a sense of foreboding. Maybe my feeling of not-quite-rightness is a sign that something terrible is lurking around the corner. Even though I have no idea what it is, the universe is telling my body and my body is attempting to communicate with me by feeling yucky and off.

I'm kind of hoping that a few extra baby snuggles will cure whatever's going on, but I suspect that it's a little more complicated than that. It's hard because I don't know if this is some weird phase of the moon that's going to pass, or if there's something shifting in my mind that I need to explore further, or if I just need a little more therapy and to readjust my medications.

Perhaps it's a little of everything.

Perhaps I'm just overthinking.

I suppose one way or another I'll find out.

xoxo, christine

Consider this my Flashback Friday
October 2011
(Might as well include a random photo to bring a smile to my face.)

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