Oct 29, 2014
Lately I am feeling the pull of meditation or quiet. I'm not sure if it has something to do with the blahs that I've been sloshing through this past month, or if I'm just hitting a point in my life (all thirty-three years of me) where inner reflection and stilling my mind feels like an important aspect of a fulfilled life. Whatever it is, there is a pulling deep within me toward sitting in the quiet, just being, and listening.
I watched this video yesterday of Glennon Doyle Melton (from Momastery) talking about How Stillness Can Empower You Every Day and it left me with a new resolve to find some time to get my Stillness in each day.
My problem is finding a moment in the day to sit in stillness. I'm so not a morning person that getting myself up at six o'clock is out of the question and once my kids are up finding even five quiet minutes is nearly impossible. In the clip though, Melton mentions women talking about getting great ideas in the shower, which she believes is because there are (mostly) no distractions so we are better able to Be Still and listen for that little voice that speaks to us only in the quiet.
I'm not sure if I've ever been Still enough to hear that little voice. Melton believes it is the voice that tells us to do the Next Right Thing. And I desperately want to be in tune to the whispers from that voice, so yesterday I decided to attempt some Stillness and Quiet in the shower. Here's what it looked like:
Okay. Be Still. Be Still. Visualize the words. B-E S-T-I-L-L. Hm, that women said that in the winter we need to use a better moisturizing shampoo. I wonder if the one I'm using is okay. FOCUS! Be Still. Be Still. B-E S-T-I-L-L. I feel the water drip down my back. Be Still. BE STILL. B-E S-T-I-L-L. That's a weird feeling in my head. I wonder if that's the Quiet. Crap. I'm pretty sure thinking about the quiet isn't how this works. Be Still. BE STILL. I wonder what the little voice would tell me. I should really hug my husband. Hm...is that the little voice telling me to hug my husband? FOCUS Christine! B-E S-T-I-L-L. I need to write. I should really sit down and write. Oooh, this would make a good post. I should blog about this. Hm...how would I start it? Wait! STOP! FOCUS! Be Still. BE STILL. B-E S-T-I-L-L. Why can't I hear this voice? How do I know if I hear the little voice? What if I never hear the voice? My mind is so busy and chatty that I'm sure to never be able to tell the little voice! Be Still. BE STILL. --
Bathroom door opens and my shower is ended.
Clearly I have much work to do if I want to Be Still and sit in the quiet. It is really hard to turn off my mind. But even with my not-so-successful attempt yesterday, I'm committing myself to continually trying. This feels incredibly important to me right now, and even if I never hear a little voice or I don't see God or enlightenment never occurs, I will at least be getting a few minutes for myself. A few minutes to just sit quietly and be peaceful. Even if that's all that comes out of my Be(ing) Still, that is certainly reason enough.