The Chase

She is bright, happy.  Her mouth begins a tentative smile, then bursts into a wide grin.  She laughs big and full, from deep within her belly.  She runs away into a different room, her steps more certain than a new walker, but not certain enough to avoid frequent trip-ups.  She squees with delight as she looks over her shoulder, making sure the game continues.  Curls bounce around her face and she sweeps them away with her two-year-old hand.

She stops, cornered by the wall, and spins around.  Waiting for the next move.  He growls and lunges, getting her in the tummy.  She flops her body to the ground as laughter floats through the house.

When he's done, she gets up running, stopping just long enough to look back.  "Get me, Daddy!" she calls to him.  And with a few of his steps she is on the move again, giggling and squealing.

She loves the chase.  She loves the games.  She loves the way her daddy will rough house and wrestle with her.

And me?  Well, of course.  I see the joy and I love it too.


*****
Linking up with Elaine and Heather.

Not This Time

Project 365 week 17

Well, sorry to disappoint, but Adam will not be guest posting here this week.  (In case you hadn't already figured that out.)  I did, at one point, have him convinced, but then he realized all on his "to do" list this week and just couldn't add "post on Christine's blog" without putting himself over the edge.  I hold onto hope that he might still post in the future.

So, because I don't handle disappointment well, (that is, your possible disappointment and my own) I am currently in the process of finding another someone in my life to guest post.  Because even though I have no real reason to need this, I seem unable to let go of the idea.

In other news, Adam's week of vacation is coming to a close.  We are all bummed that he'll be back at work on Monday, but at the same time, it'll be good for me to get back into our regular routine.  I've learned that it is hard for me to be motivated to do much while Adam is home.  Even when he's working hard on projects, I unintentionally find myself with the attitude of "I don't want to do the dishes/fold the laundry/clean the house/insert other chore here" more than usual.  Mostly because he's home and I know he could do it instead of me.  I guess it feels like because he has a break from work I should get a break from my regular day-to-day activities.

Don't worry.  I tried not to take advantage.  And I will surly be back to my half-way productive self come Monday.

Right now we're all just basking in the glow from our family togetherness these past couple days.

Happy Weekend to you all!

Oh Happy Day

What a gorgeous day here.

With Adam off from work, and no school or activities to get to today, we had a whole open day for our family.  So we packed up a picnic, headed to a local state park, and enjoyed a hike.

At one point we realized we hadn't been hiking since Hope was a baby.  Which we both agreed is way too long ago.  And although I could hear the traffic from the freeway nearby, it still felt invigorating to get out in the fresh air and warm sun and explore the outdoors.

We saw at least ten deer, a big snapping turtle, a handful of ducks, a snail, and so many butterflies we lost count.  The animals were, of course, Hope's favorite part.

Paige's was probably the food.

We all had a good hike, even if the girls wanted to be carried most of the time and I did more than one body check for ticks.  (I may be a little paranoid about those pesky things.)

Today was my favorite day of the week so far.  And it's not even over yet!  (This is probably one of the only weeks I will be excited about that instead of bemoaning the fact.)

Happy Wednesday to you all.

Drink and Breathe

I am tired.  And because of that, when I speak, it comes out wrong.  Words are misunderstood, confused, not what I mean.

I would not trade this job that I have for anything.  I want to be here, doing this, staying home with my children.  But sometimes it is hard.  And the fatigue and lack of energy are overwhelming and I don't seem to be able to explain myself.  When I try, it is jumbled, sounding annoyed, upset, even spiteful.

I want to be here for the moments.  Every day.  But I have to remember those moments include non-stop whining, non-stop feeding, non-stop neediness.  Which is wonderful and oh-so-hard at the same time.

I try to explain.  Why I am worn down, even though there has been quiet this afternoon for at least an hour.  And I wonder, why doesn't it feel like enough?  Why does it sound so desperate?

The guilt comes, as it often does in these times.

We need something to break up what is sure to be a long evening.  So the girls play in the tub, even though they had a bath just this morning.  And I try to relax.  Take a drink of water.  A deep breath.

It helps for awhile, and then there is flour in the coffee beans, fighting, papers all over the floor.

Take another drink of water.  Another deep breath.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat as needed.

However many times it takes.  Because I know that eventually this rut will end and I won't need the drinks of water and deep breaths.  Until I do again.










****
On another note, my husband is still considering a guest post.  He's trying to think of a topic...

He Thinks I Should Do What!?

Project 365 Week 16

This week felt a bit monochromatic, even though it really wasn't.  Our days were filled with laughs and smiles: visiting friends, a trip to the zoo, an afternoon ice cream.  So, maybe it's me that's been feeling The Blahs more than anything else.

She took every crayon from our box of 64 and broke them.

On the plus side, Adam has next week off.  Even though Hope still has preschool, I anticipate this week to feel more break-ish than Hope's official spring break did.  That is, assuming I can convince my husband to spend some of the week doing family activities and not just painting the upstairs.

And she likes to wear her little sister's shoes which are obviously too small.

He suggested that I take a week off the computer while he's home.  I almost fainted.  I'm not sure I'd have enough oxygen to get me through the week without it.  (What?  Your computer doesn't breathe life into you?)

The ice cream snack.

Cue Becky, a blogging buddy, to the rescue!  Her idea:  I won't write blog posts this week, if Adam does.  He can be my "guest" poster.  I tossed the idea out to Adam today.  He's not convinced; I think it's fabulous.

Playing outside in the sun.

Regardless, it wouldn't hurt me to give myself a bit of a social media breather.  (That is not to suggest that I agree with my husband or won't be on the computer at all this week.)  I don't think it's unrealistic of me to get to catch up on my favorite bloggers while he's working on his projects.  Right?

This is how she plays Candy Land.

So, it will be a fun week.  But whether or not Adam will be writing here I can't say.  (The pressure's on, Honey.)

Wondering about the motion sensor light.

Have a wonderful weekend!  And...

Helping Daddy work upstairs

...stay tuned....

Ice Cream Patience

Oh my what a week it's been.  Not hard, exactly, but just ugh.  Heavy.

On Tuesday, or maybe it was only Wednesday, I decided that I want to focus on some happy moments.  I want to write about something fun and exciting from this week.  And it's not that there haven't been any good moments, I just haven't felt particularly joyous.  Or inspired.

Earlier in the week we skipped Paige's nap and devoured an afternoon snack of ice cream.  The girls licked their bowls clean, faces a mess with chocolate smears and blue and white sprinkles.  It dripped onto their shirts and pants, painted beards on their faces, and left streaks of stickiness in their hair.  Instead of bemoaning the mess I let it go and soaked up the joy in their smiles, the sparkles in their eyes.

Of course, I am now kicking myself for not at least pretreating the chocolate stains.  The brown splotches have yet to come out, and I'm beginning to think I've lost this battle.

But, that's a small price to pay.

I find that when I let things go, it all just seem to be easier, to go more smoothly.  Perhaps this is sort of a "duh" thought, but it's like I have to relearn this every couple weeks.  (Or months, if I'm lucky.  And days if I'm not.)  When I let go of the mess and the control, and my other hang-ups, my patience seems to increased tenfold.  I am more relaxed and I have more fun.  And I'm sure that, in turn, leads to more fun for the girls.  After all, it's more fun to let your ice cream drip down your chin, than to have Mommy wipe your chin after every bite.

Not that I would ever do that.  Err....

But I appreciate them, these happy moments.  Even if I don't always feel as joyous as I would like to.  Or think I should be feeling.  I know the more I can let go, the more frequent they will be.  And that would be good for us all.

Goodbye Dear Friend

Dearest Vacuum,

It is with semi-great sadness that we said goodbye to you this week.  You have been with our family from the beginning, purchased with money we received from our wedding.  Perhaps not the most romantic of gifts to give ourselves, your practicality won us over.

Although you were one of the cheaper models, you were in no way cheap, serving us for a good five and half years.  I think it was your violet hue that caught our eye that fateful day in Kohl's.

You have seen us through our first apartment, a move into a house, the birth of two children, and the chaos in it all.

My relationship with you might have been precarious -- filled with the joys of your ability to suck up all our messes, but my annoyance with having to clean up at all, plus you were a bit on the heavy side.  Still, you did good by us, and, up until the end, kept a lot of our secrets.  I am sorry I was not with you as you sparked your last breath and sputtered to an end.

Of course, it will not be the same without you, but we will move on.  And although we have no replacement for you yet, fear not, our house will not remain unvacuumed for long.  (After all, you know it can't, as we have carpet in our dining room and a two-year-old eating there.)  We will make you proud and find an easy, bagless, lightweight -- most likely, expensive -- vacuum to bring home.

Thanks for cleaning up our crap.

xo,
Christine and family