I Do Not Have to be Alone

The past several weeks I was not feeling well physically or mentally, so I curled up inside myself and avoided connecting with anyone.  I wanted to be alone.  I wanted to isolate myself.  I wanted to spend time just feeling sad and broken.

So I did.  And for several weeks I felt isolated and alone.  Lonely.

And even though I thought that is what I wanted, even though I did need some time for myself, I discovered that it was too much.

I am an introvert.  And when I am struggling or upset I need time alone.  But there is a fine line between giving myself that alone time to feel my feelings and then refresh, and isolating myself so much that the emptiness takes over.

I let the emptiness take over.

I finally broke out of myself and reached out to some friends this week.  It was not until after reconnecting that I realized how much I needed it, how much I missed it, how much it helped.

Yesterday, for the first time in awhile, I felt refreshed.

And it felt good.

I am not done feeling sad.  I am not done mourning my loss.  But it sure feels good to get out and be reminded of the friends who love me.  To spend some time laughing and crying and feeling a part of something bigger than myself.  Part of a friendship.

Because my friends, they hug me and love me and let me be upset while simultaneously lifting me up.

Because they remind me, I do not have to be alone.