I Never Thought I Would...

Once again I am participating in Monday Listicles with Stasha.


Yes, I realize it is no longer Monday.  It is, in fact, getting farther from Monday as I type, but I'm a rule breaker like that.  Actually not so much.  I'm pretty straight-laced, or a square, or whatever other metaphor you want to use.



But anyway...


This installment is "I'll Never...": The Top Ten Things You Said You Would NEVER Do And Have Caught Yourself Doing.


Here is my list, in no particular order.  Because, you know, we don't want number three to get a complex because of number seven.  Or something.


1.  I never thought I would get sick swinging, and yet, the past several times I've tried to really get up there I've found myself feeling like I just spent the better part of a day in a car ride through the mountains.  Guess this old lady's days of swinging so high her toes touch the clouds are over.  Only baby rocking back and forth for me.  Unless the girls ask.  I'll just have to make sure I'm doped up with dramamine first.


2.  I never thought I'd cry when my first baby went in for her first immunizations.  I knew it was all for good and yet, I shocked myself when my eyes flooded at the sounds of her cries and I called my husband sobbing and telling him I was not doing that without him EVER AGAIN.


3.  I never thought I would wish I had more photos of my body, specifically my belly, from my college and early twenties (read: before pregnancy).  Did I really ever have a flat tummy?  Totally wish I had physical proof.


4.  I never thought I'd have the awesome in-laws that I have.  Not that I ever thought I'd have horrible ones, but I just never could've even imagined my good fortune.  (Did some of you just roll your eyes in my obvious attempt to suck-up?)


5.  I never thought I'd marry a blue-eyed, blond-haired Fin from Northern Minnesota.  Uh, hello?  I, like, was totally going to meet, fall madly in love with, and marry [insert high school movie star crush here] who would, like, totally sweep me off my feet and love my completely reserved and quiet personality.  Duh!


6.  I never thought I would run a race.  Or run for fun.  Or run for any other reason other than someone or something totally freaky and scary and worth running from was chasing me.  (No need to mention how long it has been since I ran said race.  My tummy is no longer flat -- you can make your own assumptions.)


7.  I never thought I would live so far away from my sister.  Even though when we were younger we talked about her moving out to Colorado and me moving... I can't remember where but it must've been somewhere totally romantic and exotic like Brazil or France or Indonesia or... Detroit (hmm).  I just never thought she would be so far away and it would be so hard to stay in touch on a regular basis.


(Excuse me a moment while I grab a tissue and cry for a bit....  Whew.  Okay.  Moving on.)


8.  I never thought I would sign up for Facebook.  But I did.  And look at me now.  I've got me a blog, a Facebook page for my blog, and I'm tweeting like I know what I'm doing.  Only I don't.  Know what I'm doing that is.  With any of this.  (But shhh, don't tell.)

9.  I never thought I'd stick a baby's pacifier in my mouth to keep it clean.  But I just did it this weekend.  Twice.  With the pacifier of my friend's five month old baby.  Oh calm down!  I'm just kidding.  But I did do it with Little P's pacifier once and then was so freaked out that I haven't done it since.

10.  I never thought I wouldn't own a minivan.  (How's that sentence for convoluted?)  My husband vows he will never get a minivan and since I grew up with one I never really thought about not having one.  I'll keep you posted on how this one pans out.  He might not be able to stop the inevitable after we have the five more babies he doesn't know I'm planning.  [insert evil laugh here]  Hmm, we might have to get a bus instead...


You made it!  Whew.  Thanks for sticking with me.  Now go take a break.  I promise my next post won't be so wordy.