Jan 17, 2012

Love is Never Wrong

Last week I wrote about the Mom Wars and how they break my heart.  Yes, they suck.  But I was wrong.  That does not break my heart.  Because really, that doesn’t matter.

This?  This matters.

This breaks my heart.

There are some things about our country that make me feel good to be American.  I am thankful.  I am lucky.  I know these things.

The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)?  Is not one of those things.  I am embarrassed.  I am ashamed.

This should not even be a story.  It should not be a fight.  It should not be on anyone’s radar.  Because it shouldn’t even be an issue.  There shouldn’t even be a question.  Love is Love.  It is as simple as that.

But, it is an issue.  And because of that, this wonderful couple is fighting.  Along with thousands of other wonderful couples out there.

Meet Mark and Fred.  A happily married couple who have been together for over 21 years and have four adorable adopted children.  Fred is French and now faces deportation because his visas have expired and their marriage is not enough to keep him in the country.  This family is going to be split apart.  Horrible, right?


(You can see the segment about them on CNN here.  Or go to Mark’s personal blog here.  But you don’t need to do either of these things to know that what is happening to this family is wrong.)

I do not know these men, and they certainly do not know me.  They are not my neighbors, their kids do not go to school with my kids, I have no vested interest in them.  And yet, I do.  Because they are human.  And I am human.  And Love is Love.

I am writing on behalf of them.  I am writing on behalf of myself.  Because I do not want my children to grow up in this.  I do not want my children to question love.

I want my children to look at DOMA with disdain, scorn, and disbelief.  I want my children to question me about DOMA the way I question my parents about the Jim Crow Laws.  “People really thought that separate but equal was right?”  “There were really different drinking fountains, schools, bathrooms, for people depending on their skin color?”

“There was really a time when same sex couples weren’t allowed to get married?  When their marriages weren't recognized?”

And I can hear it.  “But why?  Why?”

And I will not be able to give them an answer.  Because I truly do not know.

All I know is, something must be done.  Something must change.  Because Love?  Love is it.  Love is all.  Love is love.

Nobody should be denied it.

Love should be reason enough.  Love is reason enough.

Because love?

Love is never wrong.


From Mark's blog 

Here is who you can write to if you feel moved to do so.

Senator Robert P. Casey, Jr.
393 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510
P: 202-224-6324
Toll Free: 866-802-2833
Fax:  202-228-0604
Secretary Janet Napolitano
Department of Homeland Security
U.S. Department of Homeland Security
Washington, D.C. 20528
(***picture copied from Four Plus an Angel***)




  1. I just heard about this today, and I too am outraged. I think it is great that you are writing about this and I love the phrase "Love is never wrong". I couldn't agree more, and I hope this nonsense is worked out quickly so that this family will not have to suffer.

    1. Thanks Dina. Yes, there are "exceptions" made to some people if there is enough reason. I am hoping an exception will be made for this family. But I wish we didn't even have to worry about exceptions.

  2. So glad that you wrote about them too, can't thank you enough for spreading the word.

    1. Well, I felt like I had to say something. And I hope it's okay that I "borrowed" the picture from your website.

  3. The world is in this horrid state because of "Lack of Love."

    Without it, We Have Nothing.

  4. This is so heartbreaking. Though it is so nice to see so many people spreading the word and being behind this family.

    1. Yes, the support for this family gives me hope.


Any thoughts? I'd love to hear from you!